Thursday, September 9, 2010

Resilience...We need to be strong for one another, now more than ever...

Having worked as a poster partner and volunteer for national missing children organizations, as well as individual groups and cases, I have seen my share of heartbreaking and horrific outcomes to missing children cases. The scars left behind are deep and maintaining a level of optimism over the long term cases can be overwhelming and both physically and mentally exhausting. Holding on to hope in the face of no real evidence to support it requires a persistent determination that is as demanding as it is daunting. However, it is something that we must do...because the only other option- giving up - is one that is no viable option at all. Many people have asked me over the years, "Why do you do this? How can you invest so much of yourself into the lives of people you don't even know?" My response has always been, "How can I not?" Every moment that I am not doing something to help, is a moment that I have lost and cannot get back.If I keep trying, keep searching, keep thinking of new ways to get the word out of a missing child, that one tip-that one person who sees that poster or reads that Amber Alert...that could make all the difference. One moment to me can change a lifetime for someone else. That's why we all do it...we simply cannot afford not to...

Trying to juggle a full time job and family while trying to find missing children is not an easy task. When I get worn down from the stress of it all, trying to talk about the situation to people outside of the loop who do not see these cases and come to know these children can be almost as difficult. People don't want to talk about the horrible things that happen to missing children...They do not want to speak of the evil that men do. I have come to accept that reality but was many years in denial. I use to think that I wasn't wording it right, or was not articulating the facts properly, or was too blunt. The cold hard truth of it is that engaging people in conversation about the horrific outcomes of child exploitation, trafficking, abduction and murder is almost too much for the average person to bear.

So where do we go for support? Who do we go to when we NEED to just talk about a frustrating case or our fears for a child, or more often than not, our sorrow and anguish over the discovery of another abducted and murdered child? We need to learn to REALLY be a strong support group for each other. We NEED the kind of resilience skills that can lift us up and carry us over the depths of despair in these cases so we can carry on, because carry on we must.


angel4thelost said...

Thank you for emailing me your ideas and feedback on my first post. Please feel free to add comments here and share your ideas!

Jill B. said...

Thank you so much for starting this blog. The stress involved can be overwhelming, b...ut learning to balance is key, imo.

I was asked just the other day, how I was able to keep doing this. I answered, "once you start, you can't stop. it's impossible to stop."

The last five years of my life have been a journey, living my life as a wife, mom, employee - but also living a type of underground life that most people couldn't understand, and don't want to understand. I've found over the years that there really are not many people who want to know, or want to think about, the issue of missing children and the hell that the families endure.

I've learned to discuss and share with those who are like-minded. They always understand.

thanks again, Stacy!

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